the 'personal development' part of entrepreneurship

It's mentioned all the time - "Entrepreneurship is the biggest self-development journey you'll ever go on" but then the conversation always stops there.

What is this journey? Where are we going? Do I need to bring a jacket?

I'm reading The Way of the Fearless Writer, and there's a prompt in there that says,

“How can you use your words to change the world or impact the life of even one person?”

Right now, for me that looks like sharing about the horrific entrepreneurial journey that I loathe entirely (said in Grinch accent) but also NEED to make happen.

After 6 years of being full-time, I am now in the TRENCHES, the darkest days, and if my words can impact you so you know you're not alone, that these experiences are universal, then that's how I can use my words right now to impact the life of just one person.

To summarize what I mean by being deep in the trenches, I’m in the driest of dry spells I have ever experienced in my whole working life. I’ve always had two, three jobs. When I started freelancing, I got yes after yes after yes. To eventually working my way up to 18 clients (do not recommend), which is what led to the creation of Planted Marketing.

But in mid-2024, I was down to ONE client. That was the first time that I've ever been like, what the fuck do I do now? And, spoiler alert, 2 whole years later, I still have only that one client and am even MORE like wtf do I do now?!?!?

But I’m still here. And doing all the things I need to be doing to make this a reality. Why? Because I know deep in my bones that this is the work I’m supposed to be doing. With this work, I feel a joy I’ve never experienced before.

However, with the launch of my new 8-week intensive offer, things have somehow felt even more conflicting.

Because in these sessions, I’m saying all the things I know are true:

Keep going.

Trust yourself.

This will work.

But in the back of my mind, I’m thinking “…then why doesn’t it look like that for me right now?”

I celebrate along with my friends who are getting busier than ever. I answer everyone’s questions when they need support for their business or even their client. I’m SO genuinely happy to celebrate or support in any way I can.

But at the end of day, more thoughts.

“Why not me?”

“When will I get to experience that again?”

And that’s been the hardest thing I’ve experienced this entire 6 years.

Not the work. Not the building. Not the learning.

But holding onto that belief. That feeling of knowing in my BONES that I’m on the right path.

This is the part where the self-development journey of entrepreneurship comes in.

Over the last couple years, I’ve become someone I didn’t even know I could be.

I’ve pushed myself in ways that used to terrify me. I’ve shown up when I really just wanted to disappear. I’ve been forced to confront all my personal, deep-rooted issues and heal them. I feel the inner shifts month after month and am constantly amazed and impressed. It makes me EXCITED to see all the future versions of myself.

THAT is the self-development journey everyone talks about.

It’s not about the big client wins. The money. Having a ‘successful’ business.

But the part where you keep going anyway. Where you learn more about yourself. When you reflect on your day/week/month and are like damn I DID THAT. You literally feel your confidence growing and you just know that if, for some very wild reason, this isn’t actually the business I’m supposed to build, this is absolutely the path I’m supposed to be on. Literally every single thing is a learning experience and will support me on whatever journey comes next.

If you’re in that place too, questioning, frustrated, wondering “why not me?”

You’re not alone. This is the journey. This is what we signed up for.

It was never about ‘having a successful business’. It’s about all the things we accomplish in between.

KEEP GOING if you’re also in the trenches. My inbox is always open if you need a boost.